my dad

The summer of 2007 was probably one of the most heartbreaking summers I've ever had. My stepdad and I never really got along. But it seemed like after we moved to Burlington, things just got worse. I'll never forget that night. My mom told me to turn the light off in the hallway and I said no since I had already gotten myself in bed. She kept asking and I kept saying no. Then my mom got up all mad an turned the light off herself, really pissed that I made her do it. As soon as my stepdad came storming into my room I started yelling at him to get out. I used to get pains in my stomach everytime he came in, because I knew once he was there, things were going to get 100x worse. I wanted to talk to my mom about it, not him. And yet, he still stood there yelling at me as if he knew everything. I hated that. The situation escalated and I went to sleep downstairs in my brother's room. It was there, where my mom came in and said (in not the nicest of tones) "I can't take this anymore, you're going to live with your dad, just like you've always wanted." I cried the rest of the night.

I wasn't very old then, and I felt like I wasn't wanted. It hurt more then anything to be told that I had to leave. For years my mom would always say in arguments that she would choose me over Steve anyday. And in that moment, I felt like she lied. For she chose him over me. I know I wasn't the greatest of kids. I should have done what I was told more. But there I was leaving, while he got to stay.

But, God is amazing. For I truly believe that all the bull crap I went through with Steve for all those years, I had to go through to get to that moment. For God knew that I needed to be with my daddy. So I could be with Him.

My dad is probably the greatest man I know. He was deep into sin and still he was able to get out and find God. I can't even express how much hope that gives me. I feel as though he is often misjudged. I didn't like living with my mom in Idaho because her husband would always say mean things about my dad. He judged him for his past, not even knowing the person he is today. I can't talk to my mom how I do with my dad.With my mom, I feel as though she's disappointed in me since im no longer LDS. But with my dad, he's proud of me for finally wanting to know the truth. He knows where I want to be in life regarding my spiritual salvation, because he's been through that journey already.

The day where my dad actually came to pick me up to go live with him, I remember being in his car. I was scared to death because I wanted to tell him something but I didn't know if he would be mad or how he would react. So I asked him, "do you believe the church is true?" I knew he wasn't a member, but still I wanted to know.. He said something along the lines of "no, why? do you?" and I said with the worst guilt, "not really..." back then, I used to think I would go to Hell if I denied the mormon teachings. So it was really hard for me to admit that. But my dad, he was happy that I said it. He told me that he would always pray for us so that we would be able to get out of that religion. So we could learn the real truth about Jesus.

I feel the closest to my dad because he's the only one who actually tries to understand me. I love how he knows the answers to all my questions and how he's helping me find God. He loves me despite all the mistakes I make and he lets me make decisions for myself. We do fight a lot, but we always make up right after because we both realize we don't want to be like that. I feel as though, my dad and I are almost the same person. We act and think a lot alike. The dean of student success at my old school told me that I was very lucky to have a father like him. He's educated and knows God. He's right, I am very lucky. I wouldn't trade my dad for anybody. God knew that i would need him and that's why he's my dad.

I love him.