Sunday, December 26, 2010

God's gift

I just want to start off by saying sorry for not posting sooner and Merry Late Christmas!!(:

The reason I haven't been blogging is because since break started I haven't felt as close to God as I did when I first started this blog. Like I said, I'm not perfect and I am always going to be making mistakes. But, I think the main reason as to why I'm feeling distant is because things in my life are going good. Meaning, no drama.

A lot of people use God as a miracle worker only. When times get rough, someone gets sick, tragic things happen, and people turn to God to help them and to 'fix' things. I am guilty of this myself. I pray more when I need him. But since my life has no major problems right now, 'I don't need him.' I put those in quotes because that's just the mentality of thinking. I do still need him. Even when things are going smoothly.

The Lord is our father and our friend. I don't ignore my own dad just because my personal life is good. No, I talk to my dad all the time. I'm constantly bugging him and trying to talk to him even when he's too occupied with TV and he doesn't hear a word I'm saying. I need to be that way with God. Everybody does. I need to include Jesus in my every day routine.

Yesterday was Christmas and before we opened our gifts my dad told us a spiritual message. He talked about how the day after Christmas the longest line at Walmart is the return and exchange line. People actually return their gifts because what they got wasn't exactly what they wanted. He said that people do that with Jesus. He gave us the greatest gift anyone could ever give us. He took sin out of the equation of life so we could have eternal salvation. We have this gift and still people 'exchange it' for other other worldly things. People don't appreciate his gift as much as they really should. I'm guilty of that.

The biggest thing I have learned since I starting paying attention in church is this:
We aren't cleansed and then we are saved. We are saved and then we are cleansed.
Which means, we don't do good works so that we can earn eternal salvation. We earn eternal salvation by believing Jesus is our Savior and then through him we turn into good people. We do good because we want to honor His Grace. Because the spirit of the Lord is in us and we want to show God that we appreciate his gift to us.

My goal: to talk to my Savior more and to not take his gift for granted.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

introduction

Growing up LDS, I knew about God. I knew he was there. I knew I was suppose to pray to him everyday. To thank him for my good night's sleep. To thank him for my day. To pray for others. To repent when needed. I knew the formula I was suppose to follow. But to me, God was only somewhere. He wasn't with me.

Some would say I went the "rebellious" route as I began my teenage years. I would say I went the "exploring what I was so well protected from" route. I'll be the first one to admit. I was deffinitely being protected for a reason. But I do not regret anything I have done. I heard a girl say, "regrets are mistakes you don't learn from." And I fully believe that I learn something from everything.

So now, what brings me to my search for Jesus?
Hitting rock bottom without him. That's what.

You see, I allowed a person to completely strip me from my surroundings. To warp my mind into something ugly. Make me into someone who turned her back on her family and her friends and even herself. I literally felt like I was living in a different world where there was only anger. I was to the point where I could not take the guilt and pain anymore. And I completely denied God. I told myself, he must not be there. And if he is, he must not care. I felt abandoned. And I was angry at God for not intervening.

It was after everything, when I realized how great God really is. For he so loved me, that he took care of me and got me through it. Even when I pushed him away. I know now that it's times like those, where we need the Lord the most. I went about it the wrong way. I should have asked God to help me better understand the reason for the situation. Instead of blaming him for the situtaion. And now i know that the reason for it, was to get me to where I am right now.

And right now. I want to be connected with my Heveanly Father. Because with him, I will be everything he intended me to be. (: