just a thought

I miss God.... it's been a while since I've felt him in my life. Mainly my fault. I haven't been praying, haven't been going to church, and rarely including him in my thoughts. I used to have such strong faith, well, so I thought I did. I used to try to improve myself, try to understand how He wanted me to be. But lately, I've just been living in the world and that's it. I try to think back and figure out why things changed. But I only draw blanks. I don't know why I cut him off. I sometimes talk to him... but when I do, it's only a word or two. When I'm worried for someone, I beg him to let them be okay. When I'm in a rut, I plead out for what I should do. But that's about the extent of it. I know he's there. I know he's still waiting for me... What's holding me back? I don't know.