idk

they say God is love...
so how could we possibly love?

the one who controls the universe
the greatest power above all being

He is love
yet love is what we crave the most

So how could we possibly love without him?

Our bodies aren't mortal
Our minds are all twisted

And yet we try to love on our own

We break hearts
Play with emotions

We build up a love
Through hugs and romance

Then we tear it down
forgetting trust and accusing

We set ourselves up
for a heart thats constantly missing

We get stuck in the past
remembering only the good

Going insane from the memories
Wanting those feelings again

We forget the hurt
that created the end

So we end up loving
through hate

Cuz love without God
is not how He intended it

So how could we possibly love
if we aren't with him?

just a thought

I miss God.... it's been a while since I've felt him in my life. Mainly my fault. I haven't been praying, haven't been going to church, and rarely including him in my thoughts. I used to have such strong faith, well, so I thought I did. I used to try to improve myself, try to understand how He wanted me to be. But lately, I've just been living in the world and that's it. I try to think back and figure out why things changed. But I only draw blanks. I don't know why I cut him off. I sometimes talk to him... but when I do, it's only a word or two. When I'm worried for someone, I beg him to let them be okay. When I'm in a rut, I plead out for what I should do. But that's about the extent of it. I know he's there. I know he's still waiting for me... What's holding me back? I don't know.

bored...

There comes a time
when all the things you pushed aside
come back and affect you

there comes a time
when all the things you tried to hide
come out and swallow you

there comes a time
when the joys you brought to light
turn around and deceive you

there comes a time
when all the things you did right
get lost behind you

there comes a time
when the tears in your eyes
dry up just to mock you

there comes a time
when even the sky
loses its beauty above you

there comes a time
when your love inside
overwhelms everything in you

but there comes a time
when you just say goodbye
to the darkness that surrounds you

cant explain

sometimes, I don't realize how much I'm hurting. I push my pain aside and into the back of my mind, that I completely forget about it. I live day to day, feeling happy and surrounded by people. But when I'm alone, I feel like I'm forgetting something. I'm forgetting to heal. And it's because I'm not quite sure what I'm suppose to be healing. Maybe I really do regret most things that I do. Maybe I really was affected by the things that had happened. Maybe I'm missing how close I used to be... Maybe I just need to cry to get the feeling out of me. When I try to think of the source, my brain feels blocked. It's like I can't think past what I need to do for the day. It's the deeper things that affect the soul... that I struggle to feel.

what my parents don't realize

Every time they threaten to kick me out. or tell me that they're glad I don't live with them. or tell me to go live with the other parent. it hurts my heart. a lot.... It sucks to not feel wanted. They say they love me...but yet they're so quick to say hurtful things........ is wanting to be wanted so awful?

I realized something

Do you know those one sided relationships? The ones where only one person is putting forth any effort. Only one person is trying to make it work. How bad they make you feel when you realize that you're the only one trying to keep things together.

When we sin, that's the kind of relationship we create with God.

He loves us unconditionally. No matter how wrong we do, he still loves us.

But when we do wrong, we aren't showing him that we love Him too.

God is putting forth all the effort, and we are the ones leaving it one sided.

That's why we should want to do good. So we can keep the relationship equal.

Relationships only work, if both parties want it to.

God is always doing his part. So we need to as well (:

i cant help but cry